Compulsion Read online

  “Nine o’clock would be good for me,” Jill said after checking in her day planner.

  “Perfect. I’ll have Mr. Martin brought over here at nine.”

  After chatting a few more minutes about classmates they both knew, Jill left. Toni finished up some last-minute work and headed home.

  She kicked off her shoes the moment she walked inside her townhouse. She absolutely detested wearing high heels. She got away with wearing flats most days, but when she had a scheduled motion hearing or trial, she almost always wore a skirt and heels. Today she was definitely rethinking that mindset. Her feet were killing her. She was leaning against the wall, rubbing her foot, when Mr. Rupert appeared. He pushed his twenty pounds of fur against her leg and meowed loudly.

  “Hiya, buddy. Are you starving to death?” She scratched his head before he darted off to the kitchen. She left her shoes and briefcase by the front door and followed him. He was already sitting on the countertop, waiting for her to get his food. She put half a can of wet food on a plate in front of him. “Yummy, salmon with garden greens. Your favorite.”

  She laughed as he basically inhaled the food. She refilled his dry food bowl and got him fresh water. By the time she finished, he was washing his face. She put the plate in the dishwasher.

  “You know you really shouldn’t eat that fast, Mr. Rupert.”

  He burped in response and Toni laughed out loud. She loved that cat. He’d been with her longer than any human and was her confidant. He comforted her when she was down and cuddled her when she was happy. He seemed to love her unconditionally and she felt the same way about him. She rubbed his huge head, retrieved her shoes and headed upstairs to change. She carefully hung up her gray skirt and blazer and tossed her white silk blouse in the pile to go to the cleaners. As she peeled off her pantyhose, she wondered for the hundredth time who in the hell had invented those torture devices. She pulled on a pair of old baggy shorts and a T-shirt and went to the bathroom to wash her face. Mr. Rupert was sitting on the counter. She leaned closer to the mirror.

  “See? Another gray hair,” she said as she plucked it from her head and showed it to Mr. Rupert. “I swear if I keep this up I’m going to be bald.”

  She ran her fingers through her short, light brown hair. She’d gotten it cut a few months ago, and although it had taken some getting used to, she now loved the look. It still looked professional for work, but with a little gel it could look downright sexy. She pulled up her shirt and looked at herself in the mirror. At thirty-five years old, she didn’t look too bad. She could probably stand to lose a few pounds and tone up, but it wasn’t awful. She smiled at her reflection, gave Mr. Rupert a kiss and went to her desk in the corner of her bedroom.

  She sat down and pulled her laptop computer closer. She checked her e-mail and responded to a few of them. One was from her favorite aunt, Aunt Doozie, who lived in San Diego. She’d married Toni’s uncle when Toni was three years old, and she’d adored her from that moment on. She’d always treated Toni as a real person and not just another kid. Doozie wasn’t her real name, just a nickname Toni had given her thirty years ago and it’d stuck. Toni didn’t get to see her very often, so every month or so they talked online, using their webcams. It wasn’t as good as being together, but it was much better than the phone.

  While she was reading another e-mail, she heard the familiar ding of her webcam, which was built into her laptop. A message appeared on her screen announcing that Aunt Doozie was calling. She clicked on the “accept” button and her aunt’s face filled the screen.

  “Hiya, Aunt Doozie!” Toni said, grinning broadly.

  “Hi, sweetie.”

  Toni noticed that she was wearing an old T-shirt and had a blue bandana on her head. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m taking a break from cleaning the house.” Aunt Doozie was laughing and pointing to her head. “Can’t you tell? I’m a mess. I’ve just been thinking about you all day and I wanted to say hi.”

  “Well, it’s a wonderful surprise,” Toni said. “When are you coming out for a visit?”

  “We’ve decided to come in for the Fourth of July. I just made the reservations. We’ll come in the Saturday before and leave a week later. Make sure you block out some time, okay? And I want to meet that girlfriend of yours.”

  “That would be great, Aunt Doozie.” She smiled, realizing how lucky she was to have family who were so open to her being gay. Her parents had accepted her lifestyle almost immediately. They had treated she and her ex as a couple. Her aunt was also very accepting and would ask questions about stereotypes and the daily struggles. Yes, I’m lucky, she thought, all the way around.

  “Perfect, sweetie,” her aunt continued. “Is there anything I can bring you from here?”

  “Nope, just you.”

  “Okay, gotta run. Love you.” With that the screen went black.

  Just then, the doorbell rang. She ran downstairs, looked out the peephole and saw a distorted view of Boggs holding a large brown bag of take-out, a duffle bag slung over her shoulder. She let her in, put the bags on the table and then wrapped her arms around her. Even after eight months of dating, she still felt the thrill and excitement of just holding her close. Mr. Rupert joined in by rubbing against Boggs’s leg.

  “This is a great welcome,” Boggs said after she kissed Toni and scratched Mr. Rupert’s head. “I’ll never get tired of this.”

  “I hope not.” Toni took the food into the kitchen. “I’ve kinda got a crush on you, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

  Boggs joined her and they effortlessly moved about gathering plates, forks and napkins and opening the containers of Chinese food. Toni gathered the extra packs of soy sauce and sweet and sour and tossed them in a drawer.

  Boggs was shaking her head. “Why do you save those? We never use them.”

  Toni shrugged. “You never know. Anyway, Vicky always uses a ton of soy sauce. I don’t know how she eats her food with that much.”

  She got wine while Boggs took their plates to the living room and set them on the coffee table.

  “Oh, Aunt Doozie is coming in for the Fourth,” Toni said from the kitchen. “She’s anxious to meet you.”

  Boggs grinned. “Well, since I survived meeting your parents, I guess I’ll be okay. You’ve talked about her so much, I’m even kind of excited to meet her.”

  “She’s wonderful.” Toni took a sip of her wine, an excellent Riesling.

  “Hey, is it okay if I throw in a load of clothes before we eat?” Boggs asked as she picked up her duffle bag. “I’ve got a load of lights and one of darks.”

  “Absolutely,” Toni said as she brought in the wine. “In fact, I think I have a few things upstairs in the hamper. If you don’t mind, I’ll put them in with your stuff.”

  “Great,” Boggs said. “And I think we need to talk after dinner, okay?” She took her duffle to the small laundry room off the kitchen.

  “Sure. We’ll talk after dinner.” Toni felt her heart beat faster as she climbed the stairs. Oh, my God. Talk? She willed herself to be calm. Boggs had broken off their relationship a few months ago because she was afraid to commit. It was devastating and the thought of losing her now made it hard to even breathe. She loved Boggs more than she had loved anyone in her life. Her hands were shaking as she gathered the few items from the hamper. She took a deep breath. It’s okay. It’s okay. She went back downstairs and tried to smile.

  Boggs had separated her laundry and put the lights in the washer. Toni handed her a few T-shirts and a pair of socks. She apparently wasn’t able to hide the look of doom on her face.

  “Babe? Are you okay?” Boggs gently touched her arm.

  “Um, sure.” Toni could hear her voice squeak and felt her arms shake. “You wanted to talk?” Tears began to well up in her eyes, even though she was pleading with herself to remain calm.

  “Oh, babe, I love you.” Boggs wrapped her arms around her. “It’s nothing like that. Come on, let’s go sit down.” She led Toni back t
o the living room and they sat side by side on the old green sectional couch that curved around two sides of the room. Toni pulled her legs up and wrapped her arms around them. She was ready for the blow to come. We need to talk? That was never good, she thought.

  “I love you, babe,” Boggs repeated as she reached out to touch Toni’s arm. “It’s just that I want, um, to . . .”

  Toni could feel her insides tremble. Shit. See other people? She couldn’t handle seeing her with someone else. She took a deep breath and smiled weakly. “Go ahead, hon. Just say what you want.”

  Boggs took a healthy swallow of wine and cleared her throat. “I, um, I want us to live together.”

  “What?” Toni blinked several times. She wasn’t sure she heard that right.

  “I want us to live together,” Boggs repeated. “If, well, if you want to. I mean you don’t have to. I just thought, well, I—I don’t know.” Boggs looked down at her glass of wine and took another gulp.

  “You want to live together?” Toni asked. It wasn’t quite sinking in.

  “Well, um, yes. But that’s okay if you don’t want to. I understand, I mean . . . it’s not like I’m the best catch out there.” Boggs was stammering now and wouldn’t look at her.

  Suddenly she got it. She took the glass from Boggs’s hand and set it on the coffee table. She cupped Boggs’s face in her hands and kissed her gently, pulling away with a huge smile on her face.

  “I’d love to live with you, honey. Oh, my God! I’d love to.” Toni grabbed her again and hugged her fiercely. “And you’re the best catch for me. I love you.”

  Boggs hugged her, then pulled away. “Are you sure? I mean this is a big step, you know.”

  “I’m positive,” Toni said as she lifted her glass of wine. “A toast, to us.”

  Boggs returned the gesture. “I guess I could have started the conversation a little better.” She shrugged. “I’ve been wanting to ask you for a couple months now, but I was, well, nervous, I guess.” She took another gulp of wine.

  “I was a little nervous myself,” Toni admitted. “I thought maybe you were going to break up with me.”

  “Hell, no.” Boggs kissed her on the cheek. “Not on your life.”

  “So, what do we do now? Do you want to move in here?”

  “What if we got our own place?” Boggs said as she picked up her plate of food. “Not yours and not mine, but ours.” She took a bite of beef with broccoli.

  “Okay, that sounds good. I’ve been here almost two years and my lease will be up on June thirtieth. That’s only three and a half weeks away. Do you think we could find another apartment that quick? Of course I might be able to do an extra month without signing a new lease.” Toni was tapping her finger against her wineglass, calculating.

  “I’m on a month-to-month right now, so that won’t be a problem,” Boggs said, between bites. “But I wasn’t thinking of an apartment.”

  “A house?” Toni laughed. “Well, I hate to disappoint you, but all lawyers aren’t rich. And I still have my student loans. I don’t think I could afford a house.”

  “I was actually thinking about a loft. Down in the warehouse district. They’re rehabbing old places into three-level homes. Big and open.”

  Toni finished off her egg roll. “Wow. I’d love to live in a place down there, but I don’t think I have enough money to even go there. There’s the down payment and everything else.” Her heart sank at the realization.

  “I looked at some of the properties a few months ago.” Boggs stole a piece of chicken off Toni’s plate and grinned. “There are some really good deals. A few need work, but they’re still affordable.”

  “I remember you mentioning that when we were looking for that crazy woman. I didn’t know you were serious. Well, I’d love to do it, really. But I’m not sure I could afford much more than I pay now for rent. And my savings account is pathetic. How much money are we talking here?”

  Toni got another bottle of wine from the kitchen. She returned with Mr. Rupert following her and refilled their glasses. He sat on the coffee table, staring at Boggs’s plate.

  “I’m done, buddy. Go ahead.” He helped himself to some rice. Boggs took a sip of her wine. “Before we get into specifics,” she said, still grinning, “how do you feel about doing some renovations?”

  “I don’t know how good I’d be,” Toni said, suddenly excited at the prospect, “but I’m willing to give it a try. I can paint and I know how to tile. And I know a little about electric.”

  “Perfect.” Boggs chuckled. “This is going to be great. I’ve done some drywalling before and I’ve installed a garbage disposal. The rest we’ll figure out as we go. Let’s do it.”

  Toni was tingling with excitement. Even though she had lived with her ex for several years, it never felt like this before. She could hardly contain herself. But the logical side of her quickly returned. “Oh, Boggs. How in the hell are we going to afford a loft? Like I said, I’ve got virtually no savings to speak of. I want to make this work, but it may take a little time. It doesn’t matter to me where we live, as long as we’re together.”

  Boggs leaned back on the couch. The look on her face seemed very serious. Toni wondered what she was thinking, but before she could ask, Boggs spoke. “So it wouldn’t matter to you what the place looked like as long as we’re together?”

  “Of course not.” Toni said, a little puzzled. “We could live here until we saved enough money. Or maybe even find a cheaper place. As long as I’m with you, and I have indoor plumbing, I’m fine.”

  Boggs laughed. “So indoor plumbing is your only condition?”

  “That and you. Mr. Rupert and I aren’t fussy.”

  Again Boggs took on a serious look. “So, you’re willing to spend your life with me? Even if I told you that I’m pretty much capped off, salarywise? Even if I never made a ton of money?”

  Toni looked at Boggs in disbelief. The thought of having tons of money had never occurred to her. “Money’s not important, hon. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t turn it down, but as long as we have enough to pay our bills, I’m fine. It’s not like I’m going to become a millionaire working as an assistant prosecuting attorney. It’s far more important to me to be happy and enjoy life, and that doesn’t take money. It takes love.”

  “That’s exactly how I feel.” Boggs appeared to relax. “I love what I’m doing and I love you. That’s all that matters.”

  “I agree.” Toni chuckled. “So I guess we’ve determined we’re not in this for each other’s money, ’cause you’re sure as hell not looking at a rich woman here.”

  “Now that that’s settled, do you want to look at some lofts this weekend? I know a realtor and I’m sure if I call her tomorrow, she can set something up for Saturday.”

  “I’d love to, but we still don’t have enough for a down payment.”

  “Maybe it won’t be as much as we think.” Boggs shrugged. “And we can at least get an idea of what’s available. It’ll be fun. What do you think?”

  “I guess so. What the heck. Let’s do it.” Toni felt the tingle of excitement again. It might take a while to save the down payment, but it would be fun to look. And as long as she was with Boggs, it didn’t matter how long it took.

  “And we’ll need to talk about furniture, babe.” Boggs was shaking her head. “Do you think you could part with your waterbed?”

  “Hey, I thought you loved my waterbed.” Toni couldn’t help but laugh. She knew the bed was old and she was probably the only one left in the state who still had one.

  “I love you in your waterbed.” Boggs said, “but, if you really love it, I guess we could bring it with us.”

  “I think I’m ready for a change,” Toni confessed. “I think a new home for us deserves a new bed.”

  They spent the rest of the evening discussing what furniture they would keep from each household and what new things they might need. By the time they went to bed that night, Toni was feeling more content and in love than she h
ad ever felt before.

  Chapter 3

  Toni arrived at work Friday morning still feeling excited at the prospect of living with Boggs. It took some effort to focus on her work. She had several things to do before she met with Jill and Mr. Martin.

  By eleven o’clock she was back in her office, calling Boggs. “Do you think you could call Vicky and the three of us could meet? I think there’s more than meets the eye on the Martin case.”

  “Sure,” Boggs said. “I’ll give her a call and get back to you.”

  Vicky Carter was a senior detective on the Fairfield Police Department. She was also a good friend who had helped in both the serial killer case last fall and the crazed stalker woman a couple months ago. Two hours later the three women were sitting at a back table in Phil’s Deli.

  After they had gotten their food, Toni filled them in. “There’s no question that Martin killed Kevin Tucker last week, but it wasn’t a hate crime. Martin told me that Tucker had given his son the drugs that killed him. They met at a gay club. From what Martin was able to figure out from his son’s e-mails, Tucker gave him some free samples. He said he didn’t think his son usually used drugs, but he apparently trusted this Tucker guy. Then he died. I asked for the tox reports and Martin gave his consent.”

  “That fits the MO I’ve heard on the street,” Vicky said, taking a bite of her sandwich. “Free samples at some of the clubs to get people hooked. But we’ve never been able to finger anyone. Are you thinking this could get us close to the head honcho?”

  “It’s a place to start,” Toni said with a shrug. “And I want to get as much info as I can from Martin. He’s going to give us his son’s computer.”

  “What are you recommending for him?” Boggs asked. “I’ve talked to some of his family and friends. The guy is devastated by what he did.”

  “I know.” Toni snatched a chip from Boggs’s plate. “I have to run it by Anne, but I’m thinking voluntary manslaughter.” Anne Mulhoney was the prosecuting attorney and would have the final say on any plea offer.